Matty boy

Matty's restaurant failed, big-time. It was a jolt for the bank, because the business plan had seemed all right. However, it had not accounted for the disturbing impact on customers of such menu items as "salmon baked in a herbal crust" and "goat's cheese mountain".

It took a little while for Matty's talents to find a niche. A pet's funeral parlour seemed on the right lines, but his first attempt, bluntly called No More Pets, misjudged its audience.

But Matty knew most people only came to browse so he developed a takeaway version - box, trowel and fragrance - and that showed some potential. (It was supposed to be embalming fluid but it was Febreze with the label off.)

You need to know your own mind in business. All the capital was gone, and Matty was a bore in the Footman for the next six months. He hoped some listener would clap him on the shoulders with a wallet. Eventually that's just what happened. Marek had walked straight in from the bookies, and that was the beginning of Heavenly Pets.